~~~Everything on this Blog is original ~~~

If you have connections with Coromandel, NZ, and are interested in
people, in events, weddings, sports teams, parties etc., I have a huge archive of
black and white negatives taken by the late Darryl Stewart and a few
by me, taken in the '40s and '50s. Scanning them is taking quite a long
time, but I am persevering.
Please email me hardy@xnet.co.nz

Limerick Blog-strip

It's true - cats do have 9 lives.

There is a fat cat they call Nelly
Who never wastes time watching tele
She once had a job
as spy for 'the Mob'
And years before that for Ned Kelly








Does this strike a chord?

An ardent young greeny named Maude
Life's essentials, she couldn't afford
In her suicide note
She quite clearly wrote
Just please recycle the cord



I have found out why I am an only child.

There was a young lady called Gwen
Who wrote with her old fountain pen
"I thought that maternity
Would last for eternity
And I'll never do it again"!



Have you ever wondered who Anon was? Well, I found out that:-

There was a young poet called Swann
Whom critics would oft put upon
He said it was then
With a stroke of his pen
His cygneture changed to 'Anon

There was a young lass from Nantucket
Sold eels and fat shrimps from a bucket
One grumpy old man
Said ‘Lady you can
Just pick up your bucket - and chuck it’.

There was a young lady of Kew
Who painted her nipples bright blue
When she went to bed
Her husband saw red
Her nightie you see was see-through

A nasty old woman called Nell
Was making her way down to Hell
Saint Peter said no
I can't let you go
The Devil is feeling unwell

A fisherman fellow in Paignton
Believed he was haunted by Satan
He once made a wish
And caught lots of fish
On hooks without any bait on

There was a young hunter called Clare
Who chased a great grizzly bear
But sad was her fate
‘cause it was his mate
That ate all of Clare then and there.

Father, ab-out that Vestment

There once was a thieving old abbot
Who saw a fine gown and did grab it
But Mother Superior
Said “you’ve no career ’ere
Unless you get out of that habit.

News - Highschool graduates have boob jobs - but:-

There was a young lady called Parton
Whose beauty had something to start on
No packin or stuffin'
No stitchin' no nothin'
They just grew together with no sign of partin'.

I've often wondered why they don't use a bladder instead of that horrible wobbly jelly looking stuff that they insert under the boobs.- Yuk!!!!

A bust is a bust across every nation
In some though, enlargements could cause a sensation
But with bike-pump and air
For the admiring stare
One inflates them to suite each occassion

I suppose that here is an instance where flat tery may be a problem

But I have just heared of this young lady who really wants to stand out in a crowd:-

There is a young lass of Stalag
Who drives in her trendy red Jag
She has a small tube
Attached to each boob
And bike-pump that's in her handbag

From Totnes (Devon) to Loch Ness (Scotland)

By David Hardy

1 There was a young man of Totnes
Who went for a trip to Loch Ness
When enquired of the monster
They said 'It is gone Sir'
'Where to is anyone's guess'

2 But persistent was he from Totnes
He walked 'round the lock calling 'Ness'
And then it appeared
With bagpipes and beared
And kilt and a sporan, no less.

3 The observant young man of Totnes
Thought some of the monster a mess
He said, ‘now your kilt
Is an old throw-out quilt
Too small to fit round I would guess”

4 The monster quite sadly said ‘yes
Since my heyday I’ve had to take less
Making do with inflation
And state of the nation
Has caused me a great deal of stress’

5 So sad and concerned was the man from Totnes
He gathered great bundles of cress
‘Though how meagre your means
You must eat your greens
And I will attend to the state of your dress’.

6 He hurried away to his home in Totnes
Then talked to the mayor Robert Jes
The young man was dazed
By the money they raised
In the interests of ancient Loch Ness

7 The news very soon reached the press
Who sent out a clear S O S
With patterns illustrated
Folk sewed and created
To fill up huge wardrobes at the Totnes address

8 Containers where packed in great eagerness
And hauled all the way to Lock Ness
The wardrobes and stock
Where placed near the lock
Where Ness could appear to re-dress

9 By evening no garments had gone
Some people just thought it a con
They all crept away
But looked out next day
On a scene where the sun brightly shone

10 The garments were neatly arrayed
On hillside and headland in sunshine and shade
Where Ness could declare
What she’d love to wear
All dressed for her daily parade

11 The man from Totnes then stood on the pier
And everyone let out a cheer
He called out to Ness
Who appeared in clan dress
The message was now very clear

12 She’d appeared for the people for hundreds of years
And all she’d received were insults and jeers
No care or attention
And hardly a mention
All alone she’d shed many tears

13 The kindness of those in Totnes
Overwhelmed the great lass of Lock Ness
No longer a monster
That name had now gone sir
Replaced with quite simply, NESS

14 She laughed and she cried with delight
But suddenly went very white
Amid tears and deep sighs
She just closed her eyes
And slid to the depths out of sight

15 The man from Totnes dived into the lock
Whilst those standing ‘round were in shock
But all that arose
Were some of the clothes
A sporan, a tie and one sock

16 They lifted the two with a crane
Their bodies side by side neatly lain
On the end of the pier
Where it was quite clear
That Ness was attached to a chain

17 How it got attached is anyone’s guess
All rusted and caught in her dress
But it spelt her fate
Because of the weight
She dragged through the loch of Loch Ness

18 The man from Totnes and the monster called Ness
May one day be carved in marble no less
Her tartans will change
Each day from the range
In wardrobes that came from Totnes

There was a young lass of Ipswitch
Wasn't sure which pedal was which
The unfortunate lass
Slammed her foot on the gas
And ended her drive in the ditch

Universe Things

The Biggest Bang
Somewhere away in shrunken space
Light years away from earth
Within a microscopic place
A singularity gave birth
It was a huge explosion
The grandest sole event
And so has Science chosen
This blast as Heaven sent

But not by everyone.



To discover can reveal hope, and with an open mind to uncover can reveal reality.

Dogged by Bad Luck

I had a little puppy and I called him Rover
We looked into the sky one night and saw a supernova
For years and years and years until he’d lost his sight
He’d peer up at the milky-way disappointed every night
There was no supernova in all those years to see
So finally I buried him beneath a star-crossed tree

Science insists that the universe will one day stop expanding and rush back inward to finally end up as a proton size mass, just like it was supposed to be before the Big Bang

I hope everyone knows the oojah bird story.

I had a little oojah bird and kept it on a lead
I new it had to fly around to pick up all its seed
It flew away and spiralled out to find enough for dinner
But I could see the poor thing really getting thinner
Maybe it was gravity that made it change it’s mind
It circled quickly inward to see what it could find
And loudly calling ‘oojar’ as it headed for the centre
It didn’t seem to realise it may enter its placenta
It’s hunger pangs for protein instead a proton it became
Just like a singularity - or almost just the same.

Honey, I know you’re late for work, but the kids say that they found a singularity and they’ve dropped it in you’re petrol tank. And if kids don’t know what a singularity is, who does?

If you are interested in truth and justice, freedom to search for truth, and not be penalised for doing so, please oh please go to http://cosmologystatement.org/
Or see it on my website with my comments at bottom of page. http://homepages.xnet.co.nz/~hardy/cosmologystatement.html
We need you.

Observations

I don't class this as a limerick, but, if you'll forgive me for that and the intentional pun, the message here is what is important.

Six billion a month is the cost of the war
With Iraq, - just money that floods out the door
That burden to taxpayers is heavy
New Orleans has the need of that levee
To detour the floods from their door



And God said let there be night and day and that started a revolution

I may rinse the garden from my hands but the soil of my labours remains for ever.

Wisdom is the rational analysis of knowledge and is not usually acquired until an age is reached when the hormones become manageable.

Because the Queen sends telegrams to folk who live to celebrate their one hundredth birthdays throughout the Commonwealth, could it mean that when she turns one hundred that she will be sent a marmogram?

A person when passing through an unfamiliar town, stopped the car and asked a local where the WC was; and he replied 'Wesleyan Church? Yes, turn right at the next intersection and it's there in front of you - just beside the public toilets'. (Just ask the right question and you will be fully enlightened).

A brain surgeon was late home one night so his wife gave him a piece of her mind.

'There are more fish in the sea', as the saying goes, but even they are being scaled down a bit.

If you have life insurance and you lose your life to pirahna fish, can your family claim anything back?

My doctor makes me sick.

Every good gardener has a sense of humus.

Example of evolution:- A slug is a snail that came out of its shell, unwound and decided to go straight.

Mark Twain
Went down the drain
Some say he was a hippy
That's no drain, he said; that's the Mississippi

My doctor loses his patience - and I'm not going to be one of them!

Beneath a starry romantic sky
She said no
And I said why
A sudden cloudburst made a soggy mess
I said no
And she said yes
Why?????

Home Bits and Pieces

So here is David and Molly
Both looking so happy and jolly
With years rushing by
We ask ourselves why
That wisdom should be such a folly

The photo was taken a couple of years ago on Molly's birthday. She still looks the same but I don't know about me. (Damn photo won't post)!!!!!



Our website has all sorts of stuff on it and I think that I may transfer some and blogit. If you are interested please go to our homepage and have a look. All comments are welcome.



I get the feeling that Nelly is not smiling and that Lucy knows it








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